A life with dowry problem

First Published
Video edited by Tarun Falia

My name is Laizu and I am about 20 years old. I was born in Dhaka and my parents came to Dhaka before my birth from Gopalgonj village under Faridpur district. I am the eldest child of my parents. My father is a Rickshaw mechanic and mother is a housewife. We have only a house and homestead in the village. I have two younger sisters and one younger brother. My younger sister Mousumi (17) studied up to class-7 and recently she started to work in a garment factory. Another younger sister Rumee (13) is reading in class-7 and younger brother is reading in class-2.

The financial condition of our family is not good. My father somehow maintains our family. After studying up to class-9 I had to stop my study due to poverty. My father is only one earning member of our family. My father rented a room in a tin-shed building where we (six members) live in very congested.

Laizu with her child

I got married with a young boy named Manik aged 25. Manik used to work in a car garage. Their family was known to our family for last long years in Dhaka. Their home district is Comilla. His mother used to call my father as her elder brother. Both of our guardians were discussing about our marriage. But none of them took any final decision/step. In the meantime we made good relation. One day (January 2007) Manik told me that his father became very sick and he wanted to see me. Then Manik took me to one of his relative’s house and got married. Few days later we returned to our family. But Manik’s family did not take it easily. Her parents demanded 1, 20,000 taka as they were trying to send Manik abroad. Then Manik started to live with their family. In the meantime became pregnant. After being pregnant Manik started to behave with me very rough. We heard that Manik would go abroad but he did not tell me or us anything. One day he was not returning from his workplace. Later we heard that he left Bangladesh and went Saudi Arab. He did not communicate with me or us. My parents communicated with Manik’s family and started to solve the problem. After a long discussion Manik parents agreed to take her as their son’s wife instead of 70,000 taka as dowry. My father paid 40000 taka and in the time I gave birth to a female child and I became sick. My father had to spend about 25000 taka due to my sickness but none of my law’s family member came to see me or my daughter. Later they inform that they would not take me to their house before returning their son from abroad.

But my father gave them money selling our color television and freeze. They also took some loan from a local co-operative society. Still now they are paying installment to this co-operative society. My younger sister gave up her study and took a job in a garment factory due to poverty.

Laizu’s also said “My parents are very poor and they live in hand to mouth in very difficulties. I am living with my daughter and my baby also needs some extra expenditure that is increasing day by day. At present I am an extra burden to my parents. I can not want to my parents anything for child as they became poorer for my good luck. So I felt to earn some money. So when my baby was only two months I started to learn tailoring from Nari Jibon. Now I can make all kinds of baby’s dresses, various kinds of woman’s dresses and some kinds of male dresses. But I failed to buy a sewing machine. Sometimes I collect dress making order from my neighboring people and I make these dresses going to a neighboring woman who has a sewing machine and sometimes I make these dresses going to Nari Jibon office but everyone knows that this is my own dress. Thus I am earning some money but I get this scope for a while. I am trying to lend some money to buy a sewing machine and so I am going to some of relatives/known persons but I am failure.”